Can you imagine that? With all this rhetoric and mud slinging it sounded like a great idea. After all it's just literal politics!

10-31-2007 {Per Display Calendar}Here is the new platform: I adjusted it for satire: I really don't care about the public; I'm in this for the money and fame {press coverage}. I need social contacts with business leaders for the purpose of expanding my own business interest. Lobbyist, I'll take your money and vote for the highest bidder. Should the public object, I'll give a great speech to offset any buffeting. After all it is my office and job. {I know best} Agendas {current issue} are only useful if they can further my goals. Should they damage my reputation using the powers of my political officeI'll make their lives a living hell. I'll expose all their defiance real or surmised and make it appear via public retribution I'm upholding democratic law without legal rights being used by my victims. Hell I can even hire/intimidate people into misconduct for discrediting my opposition. Should my victims want a federal court to intervene, I can stall until the smear campaign has reached its full course. By pushing the unseemly person into the path of the victim, it will be alleged life long association existed.

I want large banquets, fund raisers, and a selection of "party favors� escorts and associated Items. These are to entrap my opposition, using unofficial methods of non-gentlemanly persuasion {spell check later} I twist the arms of civic leaders when I need to. I might need extra funds press coverage or alibis in the event I have trouble.

I can suspend legal rights to fair and impartial juries prudence as I deem appropriate {I have to do this to save my own ass}. After all should the press fails I needed a backup plan. My staff of Co-operative cops will be one to decide when lawyers may participate. After all the judges and I have banquets together, who will win ;) Press members should make me look like a proverbial saint, those that don�t I�ll research your history or create a leverage item. Either way I WILL be omnipotent via your proper broadcast presentation. Should you fail, I will let you know. Any dispute which arises, my staff will strong arm {I mean negotiate} proper resolution, {You will see it my way}.

Social services will be an issue, those double-billing doctors and HMO's had better be generous contributors. Health department members can arrange paternity for any uncooperative persons creating trouble {should conflict resolution as stated fail.} The public should comprehend how true political power works.: I am the politician. I will decide what issues you have voice in! The process is simple: Press coverage / motivation / nominations then lobbyist with the best capital will get the votes. After all you simpletons in the civilian populace rarely pay attention except during campaign season.

Here's an example for you: Toxic waste dumping. Harvey {Business Owner}gave my campaign thousands of dollars. I like Harvey, so I don't want him to go to jail or be fined seriously. My staff will investigate {cloud} any issues which arise and mead out justice appropriately.{see above}Of course Harvey just loves my banquets. Should Harvey become an extreme problem I can "gut him like a fish" publicly. It's a trade-off thing. AKA Compromise and concessions. After all that toxic waste, add party time and poor old Harvey gets squashed. Imagine your grandmother: Social Services {A.k.a. Medicare} Oh Yes ma'am. I'm currently working on that issue of over expenditures. {TRUTH} [I just don�t tell your grandmother I'm holding out for another 100K to swing my vote in the opposite direction.] Sorry granny your just a statistic to me. Have A Nice Day;) Veterans: Hi there Thanks for your patriotic service. Damn proud of you! Keep those ranks full, make this generation understand we need outstanding servicemen to protect our freedom and legal rights! You wanted what? Disability? Medical Care? Loans? Grants? What the hell happened to your paychecks? Did you say injuries? I'm real sorry you're wounded, but that's your job stupid. You go killed and I sit in this office. No, I'm not really required to help you. Didn't you see "granny" as she left?

Hey, wait a minute. I have a military conflict building. You want my helpget out there and be patriotic. Perhaps I might arrange you pittances. Your Patriotic duty is called back onto the carpet. Anyone who objects to this mission you either thrash them or never return to my office! Get it! WHAT? You wanted new equipment? New weapons? Hey, grannies get back over here! Listen lady did you want a "safer" country or Medicare? I can't do both! Military Spending: Call the Defense Contractor: I need a program in my area {He attended a banquet}and I need some extra revenue {toilet seats for $5,000 I get 18%} [SATIRE DAY DREAM SCENARIO]Ah... Press coverage for advancing democracy in third world countries. If I control the media I'll have their peoples support also. zzzzzzzz Oh hell, here comes the PTA

Now for the school system: I am so tired of hearing about lack of funding! Dammit you buy the class materials out of your salaries if needed. Lottery? mm, that's not your concern. {get my banker} The "appropriations" of that money destined for the school district is classified. Per our authority as political power we decided it was needed elsewhere. I'll review the matter:){Reserve plane/hotel I need a vacation} Gambling: I can help with that {for a price} concept. I'll add a %of fire, ems, and other personnel such as teachers after the tax adoption.{Not really, but the public will never know(in my home state there are no casinos or gambling) Imminent Domain: Hell yes I'll support it, provided one of my companies and or associated family member�s profit! Sorry Gram's, The farm is just worthless to the city. I have a corporate interest that's more important. What? The college needs to tear down those houses in the residential area? Sure by all means just pay the owners 48-60% of value and call it fair!{Mr. Lobbyist that will be ??K please.} Environmental Issues: I thought we covered that. I'll take care of Harvey and that toxic waste scandal. You just go back to the river and swim, eat that fish and have a great time. {Call the dinner/club see where the trout comes from.}(Mental note - get that damn P.I. off my ass) OH COOL, Those bozo's I hired to trounce that opponent are doing a great job harassing him publicly. Congrats guys.

What? They broke the law? NO-WAY, they are just protesting publicly via a hidden agenda. No need for the police to arrest anyone but the perpetrator {victim} didn't I tell him you will do this my way! What? A press agent with integrity heard that? Quick counter with press conference. Get the heads of the local police in front of those cameras. Here you guys read this and look sincere. I'll be dammed if I'll get fired for you bozo's. You blow it I'll land on your dam asses.

P.R. People what the hell are doing taking a lunch break? Get out there Show the "token" drug bust reel again, promote the Neighborhood watchband D.A.R.E programs. {Get that dam doped up corporeal someplace quiet}And keep him away from all the press even ours. How much did he make selling confiscated guns and property? Really? Seize it! We'll keep30% of the cash and feed him to the D.A. later. {See I can Always Win} Oh cool, Darren and his associates are holding hostages. Depending upon who the hostage is I may or may not take action. Should it be profitable I have Darren crushed in a car or something later. After all he bragged to much and his "homeys" won't take a hint. <>P Hmmm... Oh hell schedule my appearance with that entertainer. I need the publicity and a favor. {You know what I mean don't you!} Any questions? Read the process again until you understand.

Now, for the normal voter: I'll smile, shake your hands, might kiss your babies. I'll even pass out campaign cigarettes. {Shhhh. I signed the smoking ban papers. The public won't recall that} {afterwards raise hell about having to even be near a dam one of you.} Oh, Call the mortician I know. I need all the insurance for voting night they can give me the names of deceased voters {ones who's Id have not been re-assigned to escaping felons} {Dam, come to think of I might need a couple of those for myself just in case} (hmmmm.... Wonder if that insurance agent friend of his wants to contribute to my campaign?){Darren is a pain in the ass but those "packages" of his can be delivered now. For that matter I can have Darren removed at the same time.}

Road & Bridge / School Tax: As needed yes, we offer bond taxes. See you the voter decide. {NOT}What the hell are you complaining about now? The road is closed? Wellyou wanted it fixed didn't you? Almost 2 years now? So it's renovations!

Yes, I'm aware that city/state employee's in-groups stand as one-person works. Quit making such a big deal of it! I don't wish to loose their votes. And dammed you guys spread out more! See problem solved {raises anyone?} Taxes: Depending upon the climate I'll decide. The situation is very, very complicated. See, a tax incentive to the corporate guys put thousands in my pocket. I just can't ignore that. John. Q. Public will get used the new tax laws, they always do. {If they don't IRS will eat them} Now for the homeless issue. Keep them the hell out of our sight! Just use them for photo ops and good job publicity! Play that news reel from the clinic. {It may remind Doug to pay his "child support"} Gun Ownership? How much did the N.R.A. send? They requested what? hmmm, at risk of offending some of them I'll try to be "diplomatic". {After all I want the right to shoot some bastard in my house just like anyone else. No I can't do that currently. Besides I could order someone else dispose of the problem and deny involvement}{ Now Joyce would say to correct the terminology. Self-defensive action in extreme circumstances is tedious incident. We'll support limited weapon ownership w/ proper checks of ID's and Backgrounds. Push Gun Safes and Locks. Etc.....}Our Administration is currently conducting a review of your proposal, I�ll personally assure you we'll be talking. {call the chief justice also}

Emergency plan B: In the event of police abuse being cited. I can call Darren, His friends are well "questionable" characters of {non} moral fiber. Darren can instruct the opposition in more non-gentlemanly forms of {negotiation} reconsideration.

Now that I am in politics and meeting world leaders. I may see if perhaps between the advisory staff and newly acquired whether it is a viable option to remove opposition members during foreign trips.{the mortician said he is over worked} {Perhaps that DOJ lead to smugglers can help me ship weapons and equipment in and out of foreign soil. Should that be possible I have developed another "Cut out" with no direct traces.} THIS IS A FICTICIOUS SCENARIO! Now about country X [Yesterday we picked on Panama] Easy target w/ canal. So here is the scenario: We just released it per contract to the parental government. I'm not happy with that concept, I really like being able to control the flow of shipping. So The current president, He works with usso I have to be really subtle with operation. I'll get the opposition leader some weapons and a few limited reports. {Bolster his position} Now for the in office President I'll offer extra troops and support equipment. Turmoil will infuse and either way I'll look good to world community. Perhaps Colonel Dipstick can run this operation for me. He's very loyal and trusting. Effective at his job, and disposable in the event of disaster. Should this all go bad I'll take the head off the Defense Secretary for unauthorized black bag job!

(REMEMBER THIS IS SATIRE/HYPOTHETICAL). Now that we have that underway, I can seize a ship or two. Who would ever know? Hell for that matter I can sink the damn things if I want. CONTRABAND! Smuggling operation claims. {that will remove his demands forbore money. He can't extort me if he's dog paddling in the ocean} On to the next country / region. {SATIRE}Can I pick on the next arena? Some of you may have heard the notes I dictated last evening. Asia, Africa, and Europe, Island Chains 1-41st on the list Nuclear Testing: Ok, So I blowed up a few rocks with nuclear weapons. It's not like I openly planned to nuke one of my opponents{What? Oh!} Disregard that comment. Discussion of Nuclear weapons forbidden We have made detailed studies and research to safeguard our environment. Our Environmental Protection agency is working overtime. {Harvey Shut Up}Did some lunk head from the military shoot his mouth off again? {Joint Chiefs I've told a hundred times tell those dam grunts to keep their mouths shut! Now look at this mess, between you and junior congress wannabe I'm in political conflict with an ally!

Trade agreements: As needed to expand our culture, influence and leverage in other countries. The balanced trade is a policy decision. {Hmm Another - factory closing! Damn! Quick get those reels on retraining and social impact public goods supply & demand.}

Presses promote the flag and patriotism! Convey that the publics own spending practices regulate our international trade industry. Our shipping faculties need the added contracts. Foreign markets are primed to receive our goods.{And I need to have a few legitimate runs to help cover-up the others}[At risk of offending some-one: These foreign investors own more my hometowns than I do dammit! I need equal space ownership. Now for the {UH OH} The country of Iraq, Look it's just movies, games and bad press coverage why are you so upset? Perhaps some juiced up bigot messed up an immigrated American and sent you hate email. Do you really expect me to apologize? Forget it! Say listen, Can I send a few thousand troops over to play war? I need to get rid of them short to long term. This unemployment rate is climbing, with a "war" I can relieve around four to six percent across the nation. What? Well I can slide you some goods through the side channels if you like under the condition you don't call the Russian Government for weapons I mean goods sorry. It's a status quo thing. Hello Mr. President. How are things in Iran? I really like your people the country is great What? How much oil do I need? Well, I wasn't going to ask, however since you did bring the subject up. How about lowering the cost per barrel. By the way you have been purchasing weapons again, really I do understand. Protection and all that, did you have to buy those from my competitors? I could get real cranky and you know what that means! Jordan, Hey how are you doing? No, I really don't need anything. Wait, there is this little thing about your cousin. Could you perhaps talk with him? tone him down a little.

Now for the Germans. HEY, what the hell? You were sneaking in materials again? It�s just a report from the newswire. What mind my own damn business! Now listen here, I'm a large part of NATO {Or Am I?} I protect you, help you and your slicing up my sanctions process. I know purely humanitarian!

What, the French called? I'll call them back. Italy? The Pope and spaghetti? Great, {I Hate spaghetti} They wanted what? Oh I was to rough upon the Germans. So sorry, you ;all know how that is. Call the Spanish, They needed what? Hmmm, hang on.... Ramone!!!!!!!!!!Oh hell, generals I need an air attack plan ASAP. That damn international smuggler just made a mess of things.{Was he working with the Germans also?} Now for the little state/nation of Puerto Rico {Hostility Target}Per the requirements for Statehood your application is hereby denied. It�s not prejudice, simplified: You disqualified yourselves. I told thanks to "Ramone" I'm just not in the mood for anymore crap. <> U.S. Service members should got to full alert. All non-Americans citizens are to be escorted off the base. Advise all tourists to vacate on the next flight or cruise ship. A travel advisory is now in effect. From this day forth I recommend all person vacation elsewhere! Each new potential marriages fully denied to service personnel! Existing members are to be restricted in area of placement upon return to the United States. {DENTAL CLAUSE}

Initiate full security protocols: Manpower to equipment! How would you like for me to recommend a full base closing and reposition all assets? Either that or just send a full contingent of marine and army units? I close that base it's a vacant parking lot! No more dollars! No more tourism! I'll ban that country region from all commercial tourists via the United States. That rock is becoming a battleground of kidnappings, drug smuggling, and piracy. How about I park another goddamn carrier offthe coast? Sink every goddamn vessel that tries to leave the area!

Block extradition based upon cash potential? BOGUS CONTRACT'S ALERT! Businesspersons be warned. {Call The U.S. D.O.J.}Cross-check all Visa/Passport and Bank Transactions. Criminal History and military records for DNA & Fingerprints. You can bet more than a few grabbed have not survived and there identities stolen! I'll add Formal UN Charges for the physical abduction and psychological tampering with our citizens and armed forces. I recommend sanctions also. I may just cruise missile your real estate in select areas as a reminder! Now take down that goddamn television Network! Your interpretations does not include the impostering of governmental officials for access to installations: Attacks upon our citizens inside the hotels? Kidnapping and interrogations of service personnel: Or the theft of our equipment!

I'd add formal extortion and reckless endangerment charges also. Any dam government that knowingly permits slavery sales & host aging is NOT a friend to the United States. I'll dig up that god dam cruise ship in front of the world news! {Now the proper terminology}

A crisis has developed which requires very strict and firm action.{11202006}I have issued the appropriate orders and will be meeting with the security council shortly. {Be careful going fishing!} (Now for Ramone himself) =Pause / Paws! / <>P All right everyone calm down, I know what I am doing. {just like city council}Call the UN Security Council Later. Heres the issue folk, a very strategic interest was being taken care of, the method has become complicated. I have issued orders to deal with this crisis.

Who? The "red phone?" Yes, What? That is correct, I just issued the orders. Well naturally, I fully intend to blast him off the planet! Why? You did? Oh wonderful, now you tell me. Ok, how about I devastate part of the area? Yes, I would expect there to be repercussion. Hmm, how about I send a few thousand troops? Call it a peacekeeping mission. Well, as you know full well I�ve this unemployment thing, global treaty commitments and so forth. You will? Great. I'll get the generals working on it. Dinner next week? WHAT? {Wonder if they can get blamed for a few of those nuclear tests?}

{Oh great, they are already trying to get my real estate: I'd just left the damn security council meeting and "viola" They want to establish a presence to replace ours!} Get me the CIA reports again. {Not that Intelligence actually prevails}Wonder if "hector" is available? Maybe he can take over for Ramone"?"

WHO? Pakistan Ambassador? Why? {He has cheap knives for sale?} Oh, that�s right he wants more "assistance packages". {Guns Tanks Planes Logistics!}{Or a damn loan so he can purchase from the other governments}Show him in:[No of course I would ever insult him It's politically incorrect!] Who Liberia? {Where the hell is that? Oh yeah, Africa!} Ok, they need what? The neighbors again? I thought we had that under control? Oh, they did? Ok, try again! The unified religion coalition didn't work? {take a section of known religions - unify the ceremony/ies. Combine Patriotism & Religion It draws them in spiritually and loyally. Step by step progression similar to the Masonic rites of passage {rank advancement}. Combine ancient mythology, showmanship and (magical special effects). Hell even on stage in front of a million people you can "be-dazzle" them. Just like the theatre.

Hang on... Congo? Ancient temples, artifacts, talismans? Hmmm...Maybe the one above {and there is no one above me} should listen? Would you like to go cave, ruin, and temple exploring? Maybe visit a few select bookstores add a museum or two. {Does this bozo not think for himself?}

THINK ABOUT IT DUMMY! Seize the ancient books & records, just like {tactical information} seize the artifacts just like weapons and plans. Now who has the� power"? [History is written by the winners? not always] Ok, power in our hands! {Limited power-your now like a vender} How do you sell the product?(Destroy all copies with exception to selections or make it appear you did}{At a later date counter claims and allegation against validity perhaps}Combine precise quotations for "enrichment" of image, creditability, and public support via all forms of news. (What they read and what they see)[I know, would you be silent? It's power politics!] After a time they will live and die upon command, even ask for it! Structured Belief System!

Example: This is like an article, or memoirs. Should the public like what enter and believe in me, I gain support and political / religious power. Separate the church and state? Good Idea, yet personal belief will not permit such an event. Learn to use the multi-denominational approach or convert all people to your philosophy! Only limited problems exist: 1. Numerical superiority. Being out numbered.2. Monetary Value and continuation of funds sustained.3. Criminal Accusation to discredit = Banishment or Imprisonment Hello China! How are we today? Yes, I know. To informal at times for evenly own public. Listen how about we create a mutual bad guy, play a mild war-game or two? Interested, I could even throw in a plane or two for trading technology. Interested? What? Oh, that is true, you do make part of our computer systems. Never mind I'll Call you back!

Hey about the "carrier" signal {wave}{-smiles-}... Whew! Wait a minute, They need relief assistance in where? Hmmm.... Call my chief celebrity specialist, they can handle the issue via the media. {Hmmm.... Hope the hacked cable network is brought under control soon....){Think of all those elderly and handicapped folks + "caregivers" I could get votes from.} Without that illegal network I loose a lot of support....

There's more to do I just don't wish to discuss it with the public. Get that VA leader back in here, tell him to expect more work!

That's a day. I need coffee and a cigarette. Who care's if they see me. I just handed out several thousand packs to endorse my campaign. No sense formed to be a total hypocrite. Oh, Sorry Lindsey. I� cant? Thank you ma'am. That will be all! Just think of it..... I now play pseudo president to another country. Provided some other president isn't doing the same thing I'll be hero:)

Being a political power has it's advantage doesn't it:)American politics is a great life:)REMEMBER THIS WAS SATIRE {partially}

Now where was I? Oh yeah. Get the Injustice Department. I need my representative, Time to play dirtier! Imagine that banquet/buffet full of biowaste. MS. Taylor pseudo Sgt. You and your family of thieves better lay quietly. Perhaps Shortleaf neighbors also.

Platform is straight forward and simple for those who don't like politics. This is a simple overview despite opposition protest.

Domestic Policy: Crime! Repeat offenders goodbye on third strike! on-Qualified Death penalty cases. {Capital Crime)Reduce Graft and Corruption amongst the civil service community.{Example Corrupt police officials incarcerated for long terms.}{A higher capture ratio for Identity Theft & Computer Crime Cases.} Domestic Policy: Social Services! Medicare Fraud Reduction! {Save billions in this area}Social Security Fraud Reduction {Even more billions wasted}Social Services Fraud {Food Stamps} Sales of these commodities at 50% face value? Continued collection of deceased person commodities.

Tax/Revenue Collection: Review of several aspect of the latest tax code have proven flaws exist Tax classes {brackets} aren't just being created. Citizens are walled in.

Domestic reform: We have seized equipment, idle laborers, and work to be done. Combine with unemployment/social service assistance requirements. Add county and state medical programs. (Bid Process avoided per need) Foreign Policy: Trade & Business Issues. Balanced Talks w/common sense approach. {Country to country}Regional issues Vs strategic interest.

I'm on a single ticket, no other candidates for primary! I�m in charge of my own party, platform and policies� have selected 3 candidates to review for pseudo VP .Cabinet member posting list. I'm meeting with various community members listening to viewpoints. The benefit starts with professional investigative staff. The best medical attention, better communications and legal representation. I made this announcement back in the spring of 2002. No one believed it was in full seriousness. If all else fails, maybe I can get a detail that understands real police work and stop chasing ghost stories.

Next up is the Hot metal issue (a watch and ring) Yep it's really nuclear titled material emitting heat per say. NO! Keep your damn hands off I may build another electronic device and pretend to detonate it on your asses. No Mr. GS UN, I don't plan on handing it to anyone except the real US of A Regulatory commission (gee I'm tired). It was 6.5 ounces total weight. Some dumb marine has it currently for the sake of feeling its a important He said he felt as if his duty was a joke. Go figure!!!!!! What? Well yeah, it (the watch and ring) emits a radio frequency and yada yada *yawn* (Damn I am tired) nitey nite! What? Well I paid two dollars American for it, some joker didn't know what he had. IT'S QUITESAFE NOW PEOPLE GO BACK TO SLEEP! By what law? General charter sectional blah..... NO! I really wouldn't lie about it! It's cheap looking white gold like 3 "Drams" per link...... Maybe you've heard of it? NITE!!!!!!

(BTW: The paper report reads better.... *hint*)

I'm to tired to retype it FOR A GOLDBRICKING LITTLE LIAR ANYWAY....... Any feds feel like getting their hands dirty stopping bad guys?

Another advantage would be a press assistant to type all these reports of mine. Imagine it, no typos. {This is shaping up to a nice article series no matter what happens.} And be sure to Plagiarize away..Plauqe..Plaq..

12-21-06 Per Display (delayed report}"Joker" {a.k.a. laugh away} Located......~3

04-27-07 Per Display PROJECT UPDATES:

Canal project's is proceeding as planned. Development of new technology also. The above deals with artificial intelligence {plurals}.

Here's the latest Reports in progress: Social Securities Fraud and Medicare scams: Insurance Company Rip-offs: Replacement of "RAUL" he's demoted and vacationing: Clean-up of a silk tear(That's a 737 crash)